MAA 01: Hill Smiley

practicing gratitude, being where your feet are, and taking a photograph everyday

I am so overjoyed to officially begin this series interviewing Mothers Who Create.

the amount of love, interest and excitement this project has already received has been overwhelming my heart in the best way possible. I am deeply moved and grateful.

the messages that simply say, “I feel seen” is exactly why I wanted to start this series.

There is an unseen layer of motherhood that deserves to be noticed. a deep need to bring to light what is often hidden behind the piles of laundry, dirty dishes and sacrificial love; a deep need to make the invisible visible. So much of what mothers do happens in the in-between, in the mundane, the repetitive, and the easily overlooked. but those are the spaces where life and art is being shaped, nurtured and sustained.

being a mother is its own kind of artistry. it requires patience, imagination, resilience and care. and alongside that, so many mothers are still holding space for their own creative identities.

my hope is that through these conversations from other mothers who have carried life in their wombs and dreams in their journals that you will feel seen, held, inspired and empowered to know that, at the end of the day, the greatest act of creation is being a mother.

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I am so honored to share the first feature of the Mothers Are Artists series.

Introducing: Hill Smiley, a photographer and mama of four based in Ventura, California.

hi, I’m Hill!

i’m a nurturing warrior.
real life is messy, but it is also beautiful. i am a believer, wife to the funniest guy I know, and a mama of four. one of my sons has the rarest form of a rare syndrome.

i love photography, salt in my coffee, teaching you how to make sourdough loaves and capturing the never-again to be repeated moments of this precious life.

What season of motherhood are you in right now? How is it shaping your creativity?

i have four kids, ages 20, 18, 16 and 11. two are off at college, out of state. my 16-year-old has chromosomal and brain abnormalities and the rarest form of a rare syndrome and will never move out of the house. so, i hold the grief of how having two adult children changes everything while at the same time realizing that my husband and i (Lord willing) will never be empty nesters. i used to create art by photographing a lot of little kids in a big city and now that we live in a quiet beach town, the pace of my life has shifted into a slower, quieter intensity where i get to pay closer attention while still documenting what matters.

Has becoming a mother made you feel more connected to your art? How?

absolutely. i watched my dad photograph our life as i was growing up and i took up photography in college. when i first began, i struggled with knowing what to photograph but once i had my first baby, i no longer had to look anywhere else for what could fill my frame. motherhood gave me a reason to create and document life. i am simply grateful that we get to make something messy and beautiful and real together.

What are your children teaching you right now?

how fleeting life truly is. and that no day is promised. and if i don’t soak up this exact never to be repeated moment, even in the midst of the phone calls and a billion things added to my to do pile, when i look back, it will be a blur. and that is my worst nightmare, imagining a blurry image as i look back at my life, instead of thousands of cherished moments. so i soak up this exact moment by photographing it. when i look back at past photos the memory holds so strongly that i can remember what it smelled like the moment i clicked my shutter.

What does a real, lived-in day look like for you as both a mother and artist? Where do you find the time and space to create?

when my children were little, i used to hunker down during nap/rest times and then i went through a season where my husband was in charge of the kids for two hours every saturday (which was glorious) but now i realize that i can squeeze creativity in here and there and everywhere. i would love big chunks of time to think and be inspired and to create and ponder, but that is just not my real life. what i can do is typically get spurts of about 7 to 11 minutes by myself. i have learned that God gives me the ability to jump right back in wherever i left off. and because my main focus is taking a photograph every day (i’m in my 9th year), i don’t curate my art… i just need to be on the lookout for it. i watch all day for something i haven’t seen before, or the light hitting in a way i’ve never noticed. and usually, if i look for one messy, beautiful, real thing to photograph, i end up seeing far more than one moment to capture. that is just how it works.

What feels most challenging in this season of motherhood? And what feels most

rewarding?

i have a lot more time to get things done but i am old enough to know that being productive doesn’t fill me up. and, our days can seem long with just my son and me velcroed together all day long. i don’t have a picture of what this is supposed to look like in this season and stage of motherhood… but there is also something really refreshing and sweet about not having a blueprint to follow. and that is exactly what each stage of mothering my son has looked like since he has a syndrome that only 30 people in the world have (and even within those 30, i have yet to find anyone even slightly similar to him).

What has been nourishing your creativity lately?

keeping my eyes open and being where my feet are. noticing that singular poppy bobbing along on the side of the road or that wavy airdancer that makes us laugh every time we drive by because it moves exactly to the beat of whatever song we are listening to. and i will drop everything for a reflection every time.

When you feel overwhelmed, distracted, or disconnected – how do you re-center

yourself?

being grateful (which i discipline myself to do - not because it is easy or natural but because my heart and my soul and my mind need the reminders of all that is “true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8). the more specific the better, and even more powerful when written down in the moment. paying close attention to what i see, hear, feel and smell in this exact moment. and then i feel the nicest breeze blowing on the back of my neck and i can’t imagine missing this moment. but i know that i do, every day. i miss it by default. if i always want to be somewhere else, i will miss everything that is right here.

Bonus question: Prescribe three “medications” for a mother-artist.

1. allow your heart to be delighted by the small things. like how there was already a sliced half of a bagel waiting for me this morning. find the funny. one of my favorite pastimes is sending a hilarious text to my husband and then waiting to hear his laugh from the other room. look for and anticipate the magical in the mundane. being delighted changes how you go about your day. and how you deal with the real life of it all. ask Perfect Love to reveal to you the wonder that surrounds you.

2. be prepared. i bring my camera with me everywhere. always have your tools within reach. inspiration always strikes unexpectedly. be ready.

3. be surrounded with the beauty that you have made. display your art. be reminded of why you do what you do. this will only inspire you to continue to make beautiful things.

Thank you Hill for taking the time to answer these questions with great detail and care. Reading through her responses poured so much joy and wonder into me. you can subscribe to Hill here.

Thank you for reading and being a part of the Mothers Are Artists movement.

If this conversation resonated with you and you would like to be featured in this series, please send me a direct message or comment, I would love to interview you!